


Cyborea

by ambiguously



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Gen, Parent-Child Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-04 19:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6672652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambiguously/pseuds/ambiguously
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leia and Ben spend a day together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cyborea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dadcastellanos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dadcastellanos/gifts).



Leia rarely took Ben to the play park herself. Han loved to go with him, just as ready to play on the spinners and the swings as their little boy. Luke used to take Ben all the time back when he still lived here, using his powers to whisk him high in the air while keeping him utterly safe as Ben squealed in delight. C-3PO complained about the duty, then unwound as all the children inevitably climbed all over him, begging for stories about the Rebellion. Even Chewbacca liked to wind up the spinner with his great arms while the other kids begged him to make it go even faster. Everyone took their turn, but Leia took the fewest. Her career made the most demands on her time, or had before Luke's took all his time.

Times when she had the freedom to put Ben in his jacket and walk with him to the green area with the play equipment, those were sweet, and she treasured them.

The weather on this world inclined towards rain. Today was sun-drenched, and both the native citizens and the many immigrants working for the Republic found reasons to be outside enjoying the warm light amid the cool breezes of late autumn.

"Can we go out and play?" He already had his jacket in his hands, the next size up from what he was wearing just a week ago.

Leia looked at the screenful of data on shipping rights she was trying to decipher. Her ready answer was 'no,' because she had to get these notes into readable form by tonight. One look at Ben's eager face, though, and she couldn't. The notes could wait.

"All right. Don't forget your boots."

He hurried into his new boots, proofed against this wet planet, while Leia slipped on her own. She remembered these days, perhaps too well. They hadn't given Ben a sibling to play with, just as she had grown up without knowing she had one of her own. He wanted for nothing but he was lonely. He needed time playing with the other kids, not just at the nursery school.

"Let's go." He was still young enough to hold her hand as they made their way to the play park. He was a little taller than the last time she'd managed to break away like this. Soon, he wouldn't want to hold hands, preferring to race ahead, and after that, leave her entirely to saunter off with his friends. Today was for hand-holding, and reminders how to watch for the aerocars, and stopping to stare for a while at the great whale-beasts that roamed the streets without interruption.

"They're in the way," Ben complained.

"They lived here first. The colonists who came to this planet value them." Luke spent some time on this world, and a memory surfaced. "Ben, I want you to try something."

He turned his head to her, a little suspicious. "What?"

"Do you remember how to reach out with your mind?"

"Sure." Instantly, Leia felt the bright sparkle of Ben's consciousness brushing against her own.

"Try reaching them." At the same time, she put out part of her own mind, visualizing a blue tether echoing from her towards the whale-beasts. Beside her, she felt Ben try the same.

His mouth went round. "Oh!"

Leia couldn't make the connection. "What do you sense?"

"They're so slow. Can't you feel them?"

"Your powers are stronger than mine." It had been a hard lesson. Without any guidance for so long, her own gifts had stunted. In another life, she could have learned the same elegant dance of lightsaber and perfect calm that Luke knew. In this one, she watched her child grow up knowing who he was, developing his powers early, and pride mixed with her own regrets. "Let's get to the park."

"Okay."

Flocks of children already played on the equipment, also out enjoying the good weather. Ben broke off to join the gaggle on the spinner, turned by one patient father. Leia stood off to the side, making quick eye contact with the other parents and caregivers out here. She didn't know any of these faces.

"Hello," she said to a friendly-looking woman who was keeping watch over a pair of girls. The woman nodded, then called to one of the girls to let go of her sister's lekku.

Under normal circumstances, Leia took professional pride in her ability to put others at ease as she mingled, but that was among dignitaries. The play park adults had different rules for their small talk. She listened with half an ear about schooling plans and gossip on other parents who weren't present.

The last three children got off the spinner, and their father left with them. Ben stepped half off to push himself. Leia went over. "Need a push?"

"Sure."

She gave the contraption her best. Running was a bad idea. Even on such a nice day, mud lay treacherously just under the soft dirt. She expected more children to hop on with him. Instead, Ben held on by himself, clearly enjoying himself. As a few others came to the park and headed to the spinner, Leia slowed it down. "Here, there's room."

One of the little boys saw Ben, gave her a quick, wary smile. "No, thanks." They wandered away to the swings, although they'd clearly intended to play.

"I'll push you on the swing if you want," she said.

"All right." She let him lead her over to the swings, where he found one the right height. Leia helped him pull back, then gave him a great big push. She couldn't use Jedi powers to push him higher but then she wouldn't trust her own powers to catch him if he flew off. Around them, the other children slowed their swings and ran off to play elsewhere. More kids got onto the spinner.

She touched Ben's mind. "Where are they going?"

He thought back at her, "I don't know. They always do."

"You're not pushing them away to have time by yourself?"

"I don't think so." He worried about this. She couldn't read more than the surface level of Ben's mind, but he didn't feel like he was lying.

She let him swing a while longer. Now that he was in motion, he could make his legs do the work. He hadn't mastered the technique yet, stalling out after a little bit. She pushed more, and she tried to listen in on a few other surface thoughts. Leia didn't like extending her limited powers this way. Part of her coin in trade at her job was trust. Guilt didn't stop her from flitting through mind after mind of the other children, of the other adults.

Fear.

They didn't know who Leia was. Ben came here from time to time, and everyone was frightened, just a little. One parent didn't like the way he stared, which Leia loved about him because he was so direct. One child thought his clothes were weird, but his play clothes were well-made if of a simple, functional design. Excuse after excuse surrounded her, not one word spoken as she pushed Ben on the swing. They didn't know why they didn't like him and didn't want to be around him.

"I have an idea," she said, slowing his swing. "How about we go for a treat?"

Ben grinned. He took her hand as they walked away from the play park. Already, other children ran for the swings.

Over his frosty treat, Ben talked about what he was learning in school, about his favorite new game, about a story he was writing on his data pad that included the characters from another game. Leia watched him, nodding along and encouraging him to tell her more in the right places while she thought about the park. Han was off-world for the next two weeks at least, and would be no help. She wondered if he even noticed other kids avoiding their son, so intent on playing with him himself. Chewie might, if she remembered to ask him two weeks from now. Luke was off-world for good, though he sent messages often about the new school, and the children he was starting to teach in the ways of the Force. He never said he'd like Ben to join him there eventually, probably because he knew Leia would come to the same conclusion in her own time.

She wasn't ready yet. Her son was growing fast, and she was already missing so much of that. She hadn't known about the play park. She'd never heard this story before about the two heroes and the spaceship that Ben was laughing about just telling her. He'd brought her stories before, a few sentences each.

"I'd love to read it when you're ready."

"Okay."

"Ben?"

"Yeah?" he said, or would have had his mouth not been full of cold cream.

"When I was your age, I was pretty lonely. I didn't know about your uncle and I grew up without any brothers or sisters. My parents had other children over to play with me sometimes. Would you like that? We could have your friends over."

His face fell, and for a moment, she saw a scowl come and go, fast as lightning. "Maybe not. I don't really have friends."

"All right." She let him finish, drinking the too-sweet caf she'd ordered. They walked home afterwards, Leia spending the time in thought about her concerns. Ben was a little boy. He ought to have friends from school and friends from home. He ought to play with the other children when he went outside. Leia had been under the impression he got on well with people, and Ben didn't seem unhappy. She couldn't imagine living his life and not being lonely. She'd always longed for more friends. Han considered himself a loner but he was happiest surrounded by his closest companions. Luke spent a lot of time alone with his own thoughts, but he'd told her about all the friends he'd had back on Tatooine. None of his family thrived on isolation.

One of his relatives had.

As they took off their boots inside, she glanced at her data pad. She still had so much work to do.

Instead, she smiled at Ben. "Do you want to play a game with me? You can show me how to play that new one you were talking about."

His face lit up. "I'll go get it!" He dashed to his room. 

She didn't have time to be his best friend. She barely had time to be his mother. But she was going to try.


End file.
